Friday, April 9, 2010

A Different Rollercoaster Ride

As a "IFer" I will never forget the IF rollercoaster went through to get our son. I knew that motherhood would be no piece cake but I didn't realize what a rollercoaster it would be. From the day Ant enter the world it began from the NICU to BFing. I am absolutely amazed with my determination. There have been many times when I was seriously considering giving up BFing and pumping. Sometimes I think it would be much easier to just mix the formula and stick a bottle in his mouth. Yes, it is easier but there are moments that I would miss out on.

Now that we are getting closer to being back on the breast the rewards are greater. As you already know we have good days and bad days but the good days out weigh the bad. It was completely amazing to me how rejuvenating 1 good feeding is. Yesterday was a rollercoaster of bad feeding after bad feeding then last night at our late night feeding Ant latched right on and nursed. It went from tears of frustration to tears of joy.

Now not everything is perfect because when I weighed Ant this morning he lost an ounce but I think in the long term battle of weight and BFing we are making leaps and bonds in the right direction.

I realize now that my IF has given me the strength and determination to win the battle of BFing. We are going to do it even if it takes us till he is 3months old and I am going back to work. We will win!


  1. Good luck! You're doing great!

  2. Yes, there is always a battle but the effort and hard work always pay off!!! Keep it up susan! BFing is the best thing for little Ant and it truly is such a loving bond to share with your child! Keep up the good work Momma! I promise it will get tons easier. For us at 6wks it was like "heck, it's easier to BF than not to BF!!" It will come! :) Kitty

  3. Yeah! I love this post. I don't know you but you have kicked butt...good to see you realizing your strength :)

  4. Thank you Michelle!!! I was talking with my mother about it last night and she said, "You are determined to BF your son."

    It is true I am determined. I don't want to miss out on something so amazing just because it was hard. Just like when we were TTC.