Tuesday, March 29, 2011

3/23 to 3/29

3/23 I love you mommy and daddy

3/24 Reading with daddy.  I love my books.

3/25 BOOKS!!!

3/26 Trying a new food.  I don't know how I feel about these brussel sprouts.

3/27 SOCKS!!!

3/29 Look mom I am walking!!!

3/29 Can I go outside and play?

Monday, March 28, 2011

Failure? Parenting After IF

Parenting after IF is hard, especially since we feel guilty for complaining because this is what have wanted/dreamed about for years.  When Ant was new to our lives we had many parenting failures.  The first was lack of weight gain.  It seemed like it took forever for him to get back to his birth weight.  Also, the fact that we weren't able to breastfeeding early on.  These factors early on made it hard to feel like a success as a parent.  Looking back now at those failure and realize that we survived them.  He is also a healthy and happy 1 year old. For my new IF mommies friends and for my soon to be mommy friends use the perseverance that brought you to this point.  You can do ANYTHING you put your mind too.  It might not happen the way you dreamed but what you think seems like a unclimbable mountain is climbable.  Your a mommy right?  Or you are pregnant now?  You have already succeeded!  Now take that and run with it!!!

Friday, March 25, 2011

Ant is Walking!!!

Ant has been taking a few steps here and there for a few days now but today it seems he is starting to become a confident walker.  I used to have to encourage him to walk and now he will just decide to walk somewhere.  It is the cutest little thing.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Don't Doubt My Love

I LOVE ANT!!!! He our child!

I don't want anyone to misunderstand my previous post.  Yes, I long dream about the child I thought we were suppose to have but I would NEVER trade Ant.  He is an amazing little boy and I look forward to watching him grow up.  Ant no matter what I say or what anyone else says you are my sweet angel boy and I wouldn't trade you for 100 "genetic children."

It is frustrating because the last thing I want is for my words to be misunderstood.  My goal through this blog is to share some of my inner most thoughts, fears, dreams, etc.  Third party reproduction is still new and there is still so much people don't understand. 

Donor Diva

Tuesday, March 22, 2011


Helping mommy do some online shopping.  Wait!  Keeping mommy from doing online shopping 3/16

Happy St. Patties Day!!! 3/17

Helping Mama do the diapers 3/18

Trying to catch my kitty. 3/19

Do you like my new Elmo? 3/20

I love to swim!!! 3/21

We did my birthday photo shoot today this is one of mommys' favorite photos 3/22

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Genetic Connection

Last night I was talking with one of my new mommy friends (she had IF also) about the genetic connection and my desire to have more children.  As many times as I tell people how happy I am to have Ant there is that small part of me that still longs for a genetic child.  It breaks my heart to even think that because I love Ant soooo much.  From the time you start dating someone you start imaging what your children will look like and I am finding really hard to let go of that.

Part of the reason this has recently resurfaced is because I have had several friends get pregnant on their "last chance" with their own eggs.  I am so ecstatic for them that they didn't have to use a donor but it makes me dream more about my own "genetic children."  At times I wonder if I will ever truly get over this loss. 

Now that Ant is a year I am starting to think about my desire to have more children and be pregnant again. In my mind I am considering trying with my own eggs again.  Am I completely mad?  How will I explain that one?

I am just in a weird place and don't know  where to go from here.  I guess it is a good thing that Ant is still nursing because if he wasn't I might actually have to decided on how we want to proceed for #2, if there is a #2.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011


I know this post is a little late but better late then never. I have some blogs in the works but due to losing my camera (found it) and my laptop dying (it is now fixed) it has delayed my blogging. I hope you enjoy these picks.

Mommy loves my leggings 3/7.

My favorite food is spaghetti. YUMMMY!!! 3/8

I love books. 3/9

KITTY!!!! 3/10

I found this paci. 3/11

"Ribbit!" 3/12

Hangin with Dada! 3/13

I am trying to figure out to get these yellow things inside this ball. 3/14

Soooo BIG! 3/15

Sunday, March 6, 2011

2/28/11 to 3/6/11

I love to play!

Hanging with my mommyNow you know my secret. My sleep sack is pink with butterflies on it. Mommy says that it wasn't worth buying a blue one when the pink ones were SUPER cheap. On of my favorite foods SPAGHETTI!!!I am trying to get my birthday balloon.Mommy wanted to buy me this hat but I vetoed that.

I wanted a dog for my birthday but I guess Scout will do. Scout even knows my name.

Friday, March 4, 2011


Happy Birthday my little Ant! Weight: 20lbs 4oz
Height: 30inches
Breastfeeding: GREAT!! We have had some ups and downs over the last year but we did it and we are still going. At this point our new next breastfeeding goal is 18months.
Eating: Ant eats solids and Ant likes baby food. Some days he wants baby food and some days he wants adult food. His favorite foods are cake and spaghetti.
New Ticks: Ant is still just cruising and crawling but he is getting VERY close to walking. It is funny because I used to say I wouldn't encourage Ant to walk but I am getting impatient. I think I am finally ready for him to start walking.
Signing: Ant is signing "more", "milk", "all done", and "eat."
Words: Ant's first real word was dog. He has actually been saying mama and dada for awhile but dog is his first word other then those. We noticed he was saying it a few days before his birthday at our friends house. We don't have a dog, so it is surprising that it is his first word. He is also saying kitty, milk, and duck. Most of his words are missing the last consonant. When he says dog it sounds like "daw."

Sleep: Sleep is GREAT!!! He is regularly sleeping 8-11hrs a night. It usually depends on when he goes down but he usually sleeps from 8pm-6am. Naps are the same as last month.
Favorite Toy: Books! Ant loves books. He will pull them off the shelf and pretend to read them. It is just sooo cute.

We survived our first year!