Thursday, April 7, 2011

"#2 Will Be Easier"

Even though it is a commonly known fact that Ant is a DE child people still tell me "the second will come easier."

I have to say this comment is really starting to annoy me.  We want to have another child more than anything, but it all comes down to money.  It is depressing to me to say this out loud.  If we want to expand our family we have to scrimp and save our money for the next ___ years.  

Over the last month or so this inner dialog of wanting another child has gotten louder.  Maybe it is that my breastfeeding friends ask me if I want another one...then I remind them about the DE and they suddenly don't know what to say.  In July we will have to pay the storage fee on little totsicle again.  How much longer do we want to wait before we transfer?

I'm also thinking about my breastfeeding, since I have to stop to go through a FET.  I know many people turn their noses at people breastfeeding past a year, but I will proudly say I hope to breastfeed Ant for at least 2 years (and we may nurse longer.)  So, at this moment it looks like #2 is still a long way away.

Awhile ago I talked about how I was the infertile in a very fertile world.  This was prompted by the announcement of my younger sister being pregnant with her second and my SIL being pregnant with her 3rd set of NATURAL TWINS (yes, you read that right).  At times it is hard being a member of my immediate family-they just don't seem to understand what DH and I have been going through and are still going through.  Also, hearing all this news of more babies makes my desire for another stronger.  

For now I am content with Ant and our breastfeeding goals.  In time I will know the answers to all these questions.  Till then I will do my best to enjoy life to its fullest and enjoy every moment with Ant.


  1. That is a frustrating comment I'm sure. Sorry that things aren't always 100% smooth but glad to hear you are still enjoying Ant and looking forward also :)

  2. The 'easier' comment, grrrrr! What is your reply 'well, it will be slightly less expensive since it will be FET? '
    From my (European) point of view you are still so young, I think here average age for first time mothers is over 31. And I think a 3 year age gap between siblings is normal too, makes sense both for parents and kids (and financially too)
    Good luck.

  3. I understand your frustration. It wasn't quite as hard to conceive Noah as it was for you to conceive Ant, but I get a lot of pressure to start trying again. We want more children, but I'm not ready for fertility treatments again at this point. I also plan to nurse Noah for at least 2 years, probably longer, and even if I don't stop nursing to do treatments, there's a chance my milk supply will be affected by the hormones and then by pregnancy...

    However, maybe you should check out Dr. Jack NEwman's website for information on BFing and medications:

    He says that any meds that have to be given by injection are usually fine to take while BFing because they can't be absorbed by the stomach. So even if they get into the breastmilk, the baby wont absorb them.

    Although I know you need to take BCPs and stuff too. You can always email his staff and ask them about each of the meds you need to be on and see what they recommend. They're pretty good about getting back to people.

    It's a tough thing, number 2 is, when you have to jump through hoops.

    And I can't believe your SIL is having her third set of natural twins. Oh my gosh.

  4. Gosh, we are going through all of those same decisions too...and some of the comments. The comment about how "pregnancy restarts your body and don't give up hope" really gets me. With POF, I suppose there is a *small* chance??? But, really, I'd have better odds at winning the lottery. I think people must mean well and just not know what to say.

  5. Valery,

    Yes FET are less expensive but I guess I am thinking if the FET doesn't work. It will cost us ALOT more. Also, DH wants to adopt if the FET doesn't work and I want to do another DE cycle. We will cross that one when we get there.

  6. @Lauren, Breastfeeding causes contractions in the uterus. And it could cause issues with pregnancy. Granted that is low but I would want to give our little totsicle the best chance possible. So, for now we are opting to wait till after we are doing breastfeeding.

  7. Susan, the comment two above just made me think of something you could consider: if you would go a route of adoption, keep in mind that you can still breastfeed. It'd be really easy if you didn't have to shut down supply at all, but even if you pump to get there, you could definitely do it if that would happen. Of course... long way off. Just wanted to pop that in your head, too.