Mother of Ant my donor egg son. Stories about pregnancy, motherhood, my thoughts about infertility, and donor eggs.
Showing posts with label POF. Show all posts
Showing posts with label POF. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Diagnosis: POF
I am a little behind but last week at Fertility Authority I wrote about family building options for people with POF. Enjoy and tell me what you think http://www.fertilityauthority.com/blogger/donor-diva/2011/07/13/diagnosis-premature-ovarian-failure-pof
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Cycle #2
(TMI WARNING, If you are a man and don’t want to hear about Aunt Flow (AF) then don’t read this post)
Cycle #2 has come and gone already. It was an almost 27 day cycle but AF was only 2 days long. To top it off my cycle was only 2 days long and very light. There was no heavy day and I think I used about 6 pads, if that. I haven’t consulted with Dr. Google but I may.
If I compare this AF to cycle #1 it was definitely lighter. I have a few ideas why my cycle is so short:
- Since I am still breastfeeding so often my hormones aren't in full swing yet.
- I am going into full fledged Premature Ovarian Failure.
Part of me thinks this is the IFer in side of me just overreacting (most likely the case) but it is hard not worry.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
To Track or Not to Track?
Well, I think Aunt Flow (AF) has reared her ugly head for the first time in almost 2 years. In some ways I expected her to show up: my face started breaking out, I thought I had ovulation pains about 2 weeks ago, and today I was having heart palpitation(POF symptom).
Prior to these last two years I tracked EVERY cycle. I know almost immediately if I didn't ovulate or if something was off in my cycle. Part of me is ready to jump back on the cycle tracking wagon but there is another part of me that doesn't want to track my cycle. My fear is if I track my cycle, I will "try" to conceive again. In our dream world we want another child but I don't want to put myself through this again. I am currently VERY happy with where I am right now.
Then I also want to call my DR and have them run all the baseline fertility test. I want to know how my FSH is after two years off.
This next cycle is going to be interesting and I wonder what it is going to bring. Will it be normal? Will I ovulate? Will I have other POF symptoms?
Prior to these last two years I tracked EVERY cycle. I know almost immediately if I didn't ovulate or if something was off in my cycle. Part of me is ready to jump back on the cycle tracking wagon but there is another part of me that doesn't want to track my cycle. My fear is if I track my cycle, I will "try" to conceive again. In our dream world we want another child but I don't want to put myself through this again. I am currently VERY happy with where I am right now.
Then I also want to call my DR and have them run all the baseline fertility test. I want to know how my FSH is after two years off.
This next cycle is going to be interesting and I wonder what it is going to bring. Will it be normal? Will I ovulate? Will I have other POF symptoms?
Monday, April 18, 2011
Stupid Genetics
Why does everything come back to genetics? Why as parents are we so stuck on them?
I know why I am, if you saw my sister and I standing next to each other there would be no doubt in your mind that we were related to each other. The funnest thing to me is were asked several times if we were TWINS (LOL). Not so funny to my sister since she if 5 years younger then me.
It is interesting how not a single person commented on how Ant looked. Not a mention of how he looked like me or my sister. I know he doesn't but usually people try to find something. They were just so overwhelmed by my likeness to my sister.
Moments like these with my sister thing about the genetics that Ant and I don't share. When we are around my family they comment on how much he looks like DH (I LOVE THIS!) but I feel left out of the genetic equation. The funniest thing to me is that I long for people to find likeness between Ant and I. As funny as I think it is I want them to tell me Ant looks like me. It reassures me that we picked the right donor.
Stupid Genetics why do you taunt me! I want to push you to the back of my mind and never think of you again but you are just to strong. I see why some people can never move past it. At times I don't know how I did. I just wanted out of that deep dark infertile hole that I used to live in.
Ant I am so glad you are in my life. You make me forget about the part of me that I lost to POF. You have filled that loss but when I am around my family that loss if thrown in my face again and again. It isn't their fault we look so much a like, it is all the fault of genetics. The same genetics that gave me POF.
I know why I am, if you saw my sister and I standing next to each other there would be no doubt in your mind that we were related to each other. The funnest thing to me is were asked several times if we were TWINS (LOL). Not so funny to my sister since she if 5 years younger then me.
It is interesting how not a single person commented on how Ant looked. Not a mention of how he looked like me or my sister. I know he doesn't but usually people try to find something. They were just so overwhelmed by my likeness to my sister.
Moments like these with my sister thing about the genetics that Ant and I don't share. When we are around my family they comment on how much he looks like DH (I LOVE THIS!) but I feel left out of the genetic equation. The funniest thing to me is that I long for people to find likeness between Ant and I. As funny as I think it is I want them to tell me Ant looks like me. It reassures me that we picked the right donor.
Stupid Genetics why do you taunt me! I want to push you to the back of my mind and never think of you again but you are just to strong. I see why some people can never move past it. At times I don't know how I did. I just wanted out of that deep dark infertile hole that I used to live in.
Ant I am so glad you are in my life. You make me forget about the part of me that I lost to POF. You have filled that loss but when I am around my family that loss if thrown in my face again and again. It isn't their fault we look so much a like, it is all the fault of genetics. The same genetics that gave me POF.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Anxiety is Back :(
Before I got pregnant I had terrible anxiety attacks or what I considered terrible. I wasn't worried about anything other then TTC and starting a family but I felt like I always had a heavy heart. Well over the last couple days it has been coming back. The high of pregnancy and BFing is wearing off. What am I going to do? I have throughly enjoyed this break and feeling sane for the first time in years. It might be time to talk to my PCP. I am just not ready to give up BF and I think the only way to get rid of this is to go on HRT which means no BFing :(
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