Saturday, August 28, 2010

Ant 6months

Age: 6month
Weight: 14lbs 11oz (25th percentile)
Height: 25 3/4in
Eating: Nursing full-time when I am home. I am back to work but on weekend he is a 100% breastfeed baby. We have also started some solids.
New Tricks: Rolling over both ways and he loves to stand up (with help). He is also sitting up.
Favorite Toy: Has to be his letter spinner. He spins it to hear Animal sounds and letters.
Sleep: He isn't napping as much but he gets at least 2 30min to hr naps in.
I can't believe we have reached the halfway mark to a year. It is just absolutely amazing how fast they grow. Ant is doing new things everyday. My first day back to work I came home and I walk in to Ant saying "Mama." It was very exciting and made going to work the next day even harder.
On Thursday we had our 6month check up and I was worried his Ped wouldn't be happy with his weight gain. Well I was WRONG...he has jumped from the 10th percentile to the 25th. This was such relief.
Our biggest milestone is nursing full-time (when I am home). Ok I think that is enough bragging. Well almost...
Warning this is a mommy bragging about her baby. We just have so many awesome pictures and I wanted to share them with you.

Don't they all look so much a like?

We think this one is funny. I think the lady at the picture place thought we were crazy to get copies of this on.
He is just way too cute!

Me and my boy!

I am just like my daddy!

I am teething!

I love naked baby!


Ok I am done bragging

Monday, August 23, 2010

Crippled by Infertility

While you are living your infertility nightmare you don't always realize how crippling it is. Now that I am finally coming out of the fog it is astounding to me how much it changed me!

As I am preparing for my 7th year as the music teacher at my school, I am reflecting on previous years and how I have changed as a teacher. What motivated me, what didn't, favorite lessons, and co-workers. I knew IF had affected my teaching but WOW. When I enter the school building for the first time this year I had a huge smile on my face. There were no worries about when I was going to become pregnant or how I was going to survive being pregnant. It was like the me before IF was peaking out again. This strange person popped her head out again at the "Music Teacher Meeting" on Tuesday, for the first time in 4plus years I was inspired by something and wanted to take it back to my classroom. I could also look at the pregnant music teachers and not be jealous (DOUBLE WOW!).

As the fog lifts I am feel the optimistic person I once was re-apear but she isn't exactly the same. This new person has confidence and is more willing to try new things. She also doesn't like to be walked all over and likes to speak her mind. Who is this person?

I wonder is this from the IF or from motherhood?

Who know but for the first time in years I am excited to teach, excited for new things, and I am not crippled by my IF! It is such a feeing feeling to not be held down anymore. I am still infertile but I have emeraged from the other end of the fog. Ant we gave you life and helped me get my life back from infertility.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Goodbye 20's

Well, I don't know what I was thinking when I decided to do a post a day for 2 weeks. Especially since I went back to work this week. If I had to grade myself I would have FAILED...LOL. As I sit here an enjoy the last few remaining ours of my 20's, I know tomorrow brings a new start. Just over a year ago I was worried about turning 30 and not being a mom. There is something about being a mother that changes everything. Time no longer matters, age doesn't matter, the most important thing now is a little life I have been put in charge of.

I guess I am ready to say goodbye to my troubled 20's. My 20's were a roller coaster ride of ups and downs. My greatest joys and sorrows all happened in the last decade. In my 20's I met and married the man of my dreams. We bought our first house but then also came the most devastating news of my life. The news that I wouldn't be able to have a biological child. At times I wondered if I would ever get passed that loss. Then again the best moment during my 20's was the birth of Ant. The last 6months have been the best. So goodbye 20's and hello 30's. May my 30's bring me more happiness! May the next decade of our lives be even happier then the last.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

DH Connection

The summer of 2001 I decided to go to to the "International Horn Convention" which was held in Kalamazoo, MI. I was going with two other horn players in my studio. At that point I didn't knew either one very well. One was DH and the other was his friend. I was a little nervous about going since I didn't know either one of them really well but that didn't stop me.

Both DH and I were in a transitional time in our relationships. I been broken up with my high school sweet heart for just under a year and was dating. DH also just gotten out of a long term relationship. Neither of us expected anything to happen on this trip except for hearing lots of Horn music.

One day during a break DH and I went on a search for a Drug Store. Of course AF comes while you are on a trip and not prepared. To my surprise DH was willing to go with me looking for a Drug Store. Several hours later and us doing a huge loop we found a Drug Store and returned to campus. We had spent most of the day talking and really hit it off.

That night several of the horn players went to the bar to have a beer. Me being 20 and 11months was nervous about going but I went. After drinking a beer and DH have a few we both got a little touchy. Our hands ended up on each others legs. Our horn professor at the time was probably confused because she didn't know DH and his EX were broken up. I think our other horn player friend filled her in after we left the bar.

On the shuttle ride back from the bar DH and I sat really close, maybe even held hands. I knew DH was hooked when we went for a midnight snack at subway. I caught him staring at me. Whenever he does it now I call it the "Subway Stare."

For the remainder of the trip DH and I did ALOT of flirting but that was as far as it went. On the flight home we also held hands :)

Once we returned home I had some stuff to iron out but after DH asking me out 3 times. We finally made a date and have been together ever since.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Band Nerd

Well this isn't just one event but this is a little more about me before college. My family is very musical and I remember singing songs with my Grandpa at a very young again. Actually we have it on tape somewhere. Some of my most memorable moments as a teen and young adult were in band classes. That is where I met almost all of my friends and also how I met my DH (not till college though).

My most memorable moment during my 4 years of high school band was the year we got a "1" at state. It was the first time in a VERY long time that our marching band had done so well. It was a very proud moment for our school and everyone involved. Also I would like to thank my high school band director for inspiring me. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't be in the job I am in today. I love music, I love playing music and I love teaching children music!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

December 17,1997

I was in a terrible car accident that day with my two sisters. We had gone to see Titanic with a few friends and on the way home a car hit us head-on. My sister K and I both broke our femurs. While my sister A just got really bad whip lash. On top of the broken femur I broke my tibia and fibula. I will admit my right leg was real messed up. Luckily for us we were all wearing our seat belts.

This day changed my life in many ways. It was pretty much the end of my swimming career. Also, it created some new relationships in my life. Sadly I don't talk with these people anymore but they really help my family out in our time of need. The one good thing that came out of this event was I had the financial freedom to go to college and not take out any loans. Even though I did end up getting a job but it was nice to have a cushion. Also if I didn't have these funds I wouldn't have had the funds to go to the college I went to. And then later meet my DH.

Still to this day I get freaked out in the car if a semi is driving to close or if someone changes lanes unexpectedly. But as we all know it is these events that shape who we are today. Yes it would be nice to not have a limp. Yes, it would be nice to not have the scares from the surgeries but that is what makes me, ME!

Monday, August 9, 2010

Baby Sister

I am going to start my count down to 30 with a little post about my baby sister. I love my entire family but my baby sister has a special place in my heart!

Here is a picture of me and my baby sister. Throughout our journey she has been the most supportive and even offered her eggs and uterus to help us build our family. Even though we didn't end up using her eggs I will never forget her offer and how much it meant to me. But this isn't the story I want to tell about my baby sister. I want to tell you the story of her birth, well as much of it as I remember.

I don't remember when my mother went into labor with my sister but she was born on April 18th, so I am guessing on the 17th of April 1986. I was at school and I was suddenly pulled out of class. My mother was going to have my siblings and myself there for the birth of my sister. It was a very exciting day but the only thing I can remember now is that I was suppose to make a gingerbread cookie in Kindergarten that day. Still to this day I remember this event because I never got to make my gingerbread cookie. As sad as I was that day to miss out on cookie making, I know how blessed I am to have such an amazing sister. Thank you so much for being my cheerleader and BTW you still owe me a cookie ;)

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Count down to 30!

For the next 2 weeks I am going to talk about the top 14 life changing events in my life. I am sure you can guess a few of them. Some are going to be happy and some are going to be sad. I am so excited to share these 14 events with you. Stay tune for day 1 of 14 tomorrow.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Pump is Retired!

As of today I am finally retiring my pump for a week and a half. After a weekend in Chicago for a wedding, I finally have the confidence that I can feed Ant without the assistance of a pump, bottles, and supplementing. Actually when I first weighed him I was nervous because he still wasn't over 14lbs (but he hadn't eaten in awhile). So throughout the course of 2hrs at the meeting he at 6oz from me!!! So by the time we left support group he was well over 14lbs!!!

I am so excited to have finally reached this point in our breastfeeding saga but I am also saddened that it will be short lived. I return to my teaching job in just over a week, so I am will be back to pumping and bottles. On the bright side at least we made it to this point and we have weekends.

It is absolutely amazing how fast Ant changes. Just in the last week has be come so aware of his surroundings. While he is nursing he has decided he doesn't like the "Hooter Hider" anymore. He wants to see the world as he eats. For me personally I am OK with nursing in public but I know it makes people uncomfortable. So in those situations I will be as discrete as possible but it is my right to nursing him in public. is crazy how much I have changed. I have turned into a cloth diapering, breastfeeding, hippy mommy. Underneath though I still have the feels of an IFer. As I have come to accept some of those feelings will never go away.

Here are some pictures from our trip!!!

This is my favorite picture of bad it isn't with mommy or daddy.