Friday, December 10, 2010


Recently I have been thinking about who Ant looks like. YES, he looks like his dad but the other day I peaked at the DONOR'S profile. While I was looking at her picture I could see the resemblance between Ant and her. Really it is no big deal but it has got me thinking. What it means and how I feel about it, I really don't know. It is just a confused feeling

We knew going into this that he might "look" like me but that would be pure luck. But in some ways it is just hard for me to wrap my head around. Part of me wants to post her picture but at the same time so you can see it too. But I want to protect her identity and protect my little Ant.

If our donor was one of my sisters I don't think I would be so weirded out about this. If we had had the chance to meet our donor I don't know if I would have wanted to. For me I like this separation. I fear someday Ant will up and leave me for this women (I know that sounds crazy) but the fear is there. Maybe I will feel differently in the future.


  1. Dear Diva,
    thank you for posting... for sharing your fear (because sometimes I go crazy with all these fears thinking about DE.) I asked my cousin to be my donor, but she couldn't. I would have felt reassured because we look alike and we are family. But no such luck.. I guess for any parent it would be difficult thinking about 'letting their children go' and them becoming independent people and you have this extra built in difference between you. But you know? Ant is literally your flesh and blood and milk and will never really leave you. (well, that's how it feels from my step-parent perspective anyway)

  2. Thanks for posting. I am currently 8w3d pg with a DE baby and wonder if I'll be bothered by it. Sometimes I sit and ponder the kind of challenges ahead. So thanks for posting...keeps me prepared.

  3. Loss, grief, denial in all of this. Then denial all over again... seem to be the pattern with these issues.]

    When recipients are counseled in the "heights desperation( maybe for some) finds out they cannot have or use any of their own eggs of their own" Any woman who apply for another human been Eggs go what is called" Blind sighted, and the Donors can in part, because the recipient they so much want to have the " feelings" and go through the whole 9th mth process of pregnancies etc and the experience of birth first.ok got that.

    Facts remain, Egg door" emotionally" so very new stage still the long terms are not looked at deep enough, or can ever be for that fact.

    If a woman could have here own eggs there would be no need for a donor, if the egg from the door had not " heart" to give, and the egg had "no sperm" their would be no potential child. More respect needed, else all just sound like squabbling children, over a puppy.

    Fact the recipient must show more Honor respect and value, speaking nice things into another mind to needing and wanting so desperately something from them such as so precious another EGGS from their own ovaries, then to appease their own minds, say hey you are just a donor , thus can only making less of a person value, after some woman would say anything to have something so precious in the end. And could stop other from helping others to achieve their Dream of becoming Parents, not just a Kidney, or a Big toe Donor, rather a Potential Human being with its own right, um

    But the Donor should not play power games, over those couples so vulnerable either. With some better trust in placed in all this the begging to allow some one to become pregnant, all must LET GO at some time and let people get on with each others Life's after some reasonable time. Also how well all parties were Informed, does not stop new strong emotions later.

    ( Because the Laws says the Donor has NO rights, does not me they have NO feelings to) Tread carefully recipients, as this is your child's don't they may wish to meet one day to-:) Should not be a custody battle before the child is born! or some time later to.

    An doors must be fully informed of any rights " specially unspoken, beofre they give up their own "genes cells." Just like some one taking your face away in part! um.
    Not alot of people are or can be Unconditional with such sensitive matters. alot more Wisdom and thought needed.

    With 7 Billion people now in this world, and so many children in need of kind living homes, way may more?

    Of corse this is all about, about the oman wanting to be pregnant and feel all those feelings that go with 9th mths, and fulfilling her wish or husbands, what about the children wishes later wanting visit their donors? AN dhow much rejection can some of these children go through just because they don't look like their tummy Mums jealousies at times, that can and does happen.

    Nurture can win over nature, but Egg Door thing, so new, than straight already alive where child still as deserving of a home if not more so as already here in this world, Adoption where most all know straight up front the child from different circumstances,no secrets their needed and no lies, must be Healthier.

  4. PS In a hurry sorry for any typo errors.