I was thinking about this because yesterday we attended C's (Lucy's son) 1st birthday party. To see the 4 boys playing together was surreal. To think they didn't even exist 2 years ago. Our lives are so blessed. It is fun to think, iff the 3 of us weren't infertile we would have NEVER met. Infertility is hard but it can also create the best friendships.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
How Life Has Changed
I was thinking about this because yesterday we attended C's (Lucy's son) 1st birthday party. To see the 4 boys playing together was surreal. To think they didn't even exist 2 years ago. Our lives are so blessed. It is fun to think, iff the 3 of us weren't infertile we would have NEVER met. Infertility is hard but it can also create the best friendships.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
D-Day
I think around 10:30am they checked me in and took me to my room. We went through the basic questions. My RN also hooked me up to the monitor and started my IV. When the OB came in she basically told me that today is the day and that we are inducing. She also did an exam to determine whether we were going to have to loosen up my cervix or if we could just start the pitocin. After a very uncomfortable exam she determined that we could just start with the pitocin.
After I had lunch DH finally arrived around 2:30. Around that time they also started me on pitocin. Now it is 5pm EST and I am still sitting here and my contractions so far aren't so bad...I am hoping I am not jinxing myself. We are also waiting for my OB to come and check me again to decide the next steps.
This will be my last blog as a pregnant women and next time I write I will be a MOM!!! Thank you all for your support and hopefully I will be updating everyone soon. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayer. Ant will be making his arrival very soon.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
9 days
With my induction being 9 days away (unless Ant decides to come earlier), for the most part I am feeling prepared. After talking with my friends who have already had their babies I know we have everything necessary to survive the first few days with Ant. If we are missing a few things, I will just send DH to get them after we are home.
The funniest thing about this weekend is I have had to do a 24hr urine co
llection. Not to terrible just annoying because I had to carry my jug of urine with me to my shower. Also, I had my friend make room for it in her fridge because it has to stay cool. Now I just hope I remember tonight but in my pregnant daze I might forget to collect. I just can't believe I have pee in my fridge...LOL.My goal this week is to blog daily. For my DE friends, the fact that he isn't genetically related to me is the farthest thing from my mind. I am just so excited to finally meet my son and get to know him.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Snow, Snow, and More Snow
One good thing about all this snow is we are finally getting some good work done on Ant's room. This weekend I finally finished his tree mural. (Well almost my friend is going to finish the outline for me on Saturday, if it doesn't snow) We also finally put his crib together. It looks great but the big problem is placing the furniture. The room is a very odd shape because it is long and skinny. To top off the frustration is one of the long walls is taken up by closets and door, while the windows are on the other long wall. To help us out DH made a small diagram of the room and little cut outs. I took the little pieces and moved them around them room. I think we have a plan, maybe.
My appointment this last week was pretty good but my blood sugar wasn't completely under control with just diet and exercise. I think if I was earlier in my 3rd trimester my OB would have given me another week to figure it out but since Ant's arrival is fast approaching she suggested started meds or insulin. I opted for the pill because it is easier. As an IVF graduate needles don't scare me anymore. Since starting the meds my blood sugar has been under control minus one funky breakfast #. My OB and I will talk about this more on Thursday at my appointment (if I can get there).
Due to my GD my OB also wants me to do twice a week NST scans and get a growth u/s. NST scans are 40 minute scans monitoring the baby to make sure he isn't stress. It is actually a lot of fun for me to be hooked up to the monitor because I can hear Ant's heart beat, and see and feel my contractions. During my Monday scan my contractions were pretty big compared to last week. Last week my OB also checked my cervix and I am already 1cm dilated. I know many people walk around for weeks 1cm dilated but it is just exciting that the dilation process is already started.
Thursday I have my 36week appointment and another NST scan. I really hope the snow doesn't prevent me from getting to my appointment. I am excited to see my OB again and see if my cervix has progressed any.
Friday, January 29, 2010
GD Education
Anticipating an issue I arrived about 20mins early. When I got to the desk they said, "We have a problem we never got your referral and we don't have your authorization." WTH!?! This is why I made all those phone calls yesterday. Luckily the ladies were very nice and called my OB's office and arrange everything for me. This was only after a few frustrated hormonal pregnant women tears.
The class was a great learning experience for me about how food affects your blood sugar and how just a few simple food changes can keep GD under control. They also gave me a food plan based on me pre-pregnancy weight. It is actually really easy because they map out my 3 small meals and my 3 snacks. I am actually looking forward to going to the grocery store tomorrow to pick out some great food choices.
The biggest changes come with breakfast and of course giving up my one Pepsi a day. For breakfast I am suppose to avoid all fruit and cereal. I LOVE fruit and cereal, it is like breakfast staple. Also I have to give up orange juice, well just for a few weeks.
To finish off my day I went and saw my OB for a BP check. It was a good appointment because my blood sugar was good, my BP ok, and Ant's heart beat was awesome. The only thing she is concerned about is because my BP has been slowly rising through out my pregnancy and she is concerned it is the early signs of preeclampsia. I really don't have any other symptoms but she just wants to make sure we keep everything under control. It feels great to know that my OB is really keeping an eye on everything.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Eventful Week
Monday was my 34 week appointment at the OB. It was a very exciting appointment because my MIL is now in town with us and it was the first time she would hear Ant's heartbeat. Every appointment I have had so far have been uneventful and I assumed this one would be the same."Are you having sharp pains on your sides?"
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Preparing for Ant
Over the next 2 weeks we need to finish as much as possible. My MIL has offered to come and spend the last month of my pregnancy with us and she is going to help us out during the month of March. I am so grateful that she is coming because I am already overwhelmed with everything that needs to be done. We need to have his room some what ready because that is also our guest bedroom.
This week starts a marathon of classes preparing us for Ant. I have heard many people say birthing classes is a waste of time but I am of the mind set that it is better to know what is coming or at least have some idea of what is happening. We are also register to take infant care and CPR. DH lucked out that he was busy during the breastfeeding class, so he doesn't have to go with me. Also, he isn't the one that is going to be breastfeeding.
This past week I headed back to work after a nice 2 week break. It was great to be back to work but at the same time the 3rd trimester exhaustion is starting to set in. I am hoping for lots of snow days and late starts between now and the time Ant comes. Lastly, heartburn has really started to kick my a$$. The funniest thing is that water seems to make it worse. Thank goodness only 8 weeks to go!!!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Ant in 3D
Today DH and I got to have a 3D/4D u/s. I was a little nervous that DH would consider it a waste of money but I am trying to enjoy this pregnancy to the fullest and that includes a 3D u/s. After we were done DH was asked if it was work it and he answered, "Yes!"
For those of you who are on the fence on whether to do a 3D u/s or not. I would say go for it!! The more I look at them the more I love them. My little Ant was actually being a little shy for the camera today. He was head down and hiding behind the placenta.
The photo above is one of my favorites. You can see his cute nose, lips, chubby checks and his hand up by his face. It is just a great picture of Ant. The more I look at these pictures the more I love them. Before we know it he will be here running our lives.
As for the pregnancy things have been going great minus I failed my 1hr glucose test. This surprised me at first but then I realized that I might have had something candy before the test and that is a big no no. It is amazing to me how they don't really give you directions for the 1hr test but are very specific for the 3hr glucose test.
Monday I did the 3hr glucose test. I don't recommend failing the 1hr because the 3hr glucose test SUCKS!!! The worst part is that you have to fast for 12 hours before hand and then drink the orange crap...plus 3hrs of waiting and 4 blood draws. No news yet but I might have to wait till Monday to find out if I passed or failed. At this point I am thinking no news is good news.Saturday, December 19, 2009
28 week, 12 to go
How far along: 28 weeks
Weight Gain: 22lbs but shhhh...don't tell my OB because she only knows about 16lbs of it.
Stretch marks: Nope, I am lucky that I have great genes in the department. Neither my grandma, mother, and sister got stretch marks.
Sleep: I am still sleeping well but I usually wake up 1-3 times a night and I can't remember the last time I slept through
Labor signs: I have a few Baxton-Hicks contracts a day but nothing to worry about.
Belly Button: At this point I still have an innie but we are on our way out.
What I miss most: Well it depends on the day but right now it is beer and wine. Especially during football season because DH and I would watch the Cowboys and drink beer together. Now it is DH drinking beer and me watching.
Baby movement: He moves all the time. My favorite movement is when I am laying on my right side and he punches both sides of my stomach at the same time.
As for Ant's room, well it is coming along. DH and I have done some room prep for painting. Yesterday we got his crib arrived-thank you Grammie. Today we were hoping to do a little painting but we were distracted by the blizzard going on outside (this was my first). Now I am hoping for Monday from work due to the 20+ inches of snow, so we can paint. Once his room is done I will post pictures but I am predicting that might not happen till January or February.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Jealousy
This jealousy has seemed to always have been there since we found out DE was our only option but I didn’t realize how jealous I was until very recently. As we sat at the dinner table at Thanksgiving DH’s family start discussing who his cousin’s daughter looked like. For a normal mother this wouldn’t be a big deal but it made me jealous. I was thinking of next Thanksgiving with Ant. In my imagination we are sitting at the table and discussing who he looked like and how I might not enter the conversation. Maybe if I am lucky he might look like me or someone in my family but I will know differently.
Lately, I have been having these daydreams of a little girl who looks like me. This little girl is the daughter that I have always dreamed of having. The little girl that the RN at my REs office said we deserved. The child of my dreams is a little girl with brown eyes, brown hair, my smile, and with a little of DH mixed in there. Why now at 27weeks am I having such a hard time with this?
I am just so jealous. Please don’t take this the wrong way because I love Ant and I wouldn’t change the way he is coming to us but I am having a hard time shaking these feelings. I pray these feelings disappear once I hold our son in my arms for the first time. The last thing I want is my insecurities to affect him. I guess it is better to deal with these emotions now then once Ant is here.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Loss
Now I find I don't know what to say or if I should even say anything to her. I remember the loss I felt after each failed IVF. My hopes and dreams of finally having a bio child being ripped from me once again but I that was only 2 weeks of waiting. How can I compare that to a loss at 22 weeks? I think about my son growing strongly inside of me and it would just crush me to lose him.
Many thoughtless people might say there will be other children but how do you even know that. There is no guarantee, as I have learned over 3 years of TTC. There are no promises of success. Has living in the IF world taunted my view or has it given me a more realistic view. I now worry about seeing my friend every day as my belly grows larger and her's is now empty.
This reminds me of my first year of TTC. At my job there were 3 pregnant women. As it became apparent that they were pregnant part of my heart ached for the child I wanted. When the birth drew closer I longed to have the same large pregnant belly. Once their children were here I wished it was me and not them. I still feel this way every time I see their children and think to myself, "That should have been me." It wasn't and I was left in the dust childless and broken.
To my friend if you are reading this I have no words that can express the sadness you may be feeling. I know I can't completely understand. Just know that you and your angel are in my thoughts and prayers.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
I'm not fat, I'm Pregnant
Also, I went to the OB yesterday and it was the first time she measured my uterus. If I remember correctly you are suppose to measure an inch for each month pregnant you are. Well, I am currently 25 weeks and I measured 27 almost 28 inches. So, pregnancy wise I am not measuring small....hmm. Either I guess I just have a lot of room for Ant to hide in there because it looks like he is going to be a BIG boy.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Stupid Comments
Most of the people at the shower were my friend’s family but there were also a few friends and acquaintances. I hadn’t seen these people since I have become pregnant, so of course I was looking forward to seeing them. Unfortunately it wasn’t as pleasant as I expected. The first thing out of someone’s month was, “I knew it would happen for you and I told you all you needed to do was relax. You were worked up for no reason.” I am sure some of you are reeling already. The kicker was it continued to, “Once you have one kids the flood gates open up and now the rest will be easy.” These aren’t her exact words but the gist of what was said.
This wasn’t the first time I have heard comments like these. I was under the impression that stupid comments like this would stop after I was pregnant but that was absolutely incorrect. Maybe for some people the second child is easier but when you use DE by no means is it easier. Especially for me, just because I am pregnant now doesn’t mean I don’t have POF anymore. My chances of getting pregnant do not go up. We are still sitting in the 1-2% chance of conceiving with my eggs.
In situations likes this I have two choices. One, is to just ignore and move on and try to forget what was said. This is what I normally do. My other choice would be to explain the whole thing to them but is it worth the effort? I guess it depends on who it is. If she was a closer friend I might have taken the time to explain it. DE, 30K, and IVF is how I got pregnant and unless you want to pay for child #2 it is not happening again any time soon.
Why is everyone suddenly concerned about a second child? Yes, in a perfect world I would love to have more children but in my world it might not be possible. I guess I need to be more vocal about the fact that this might be the only one. Once my little boy is here we don’t plan on preventing obviously, what is the point? If we get a miracle great but I am not holding my breath.
The gist of this rant is be careful what you say to a pregnant women, especially one that went through IF and IF treatments. For them a second child might not be an option. Those comments are just as hurtful as “Just relax, it will happen.”
Friday, October 23, 2009
Kids Say the Cutest Things
While we were talking he asked me, "Mrs. Q, did you have your baby?"
Me, "No honey he is still in my belly."
Student, "Well, you are to skinny to be pregnant."
I just had to smile when he said that. As much as I think I look pregnant to the trained 1st grader eye I am still too skinny. I guess I should be enjoying comments like this. Since I have returned from visiting my family that is all I have heard. "Wow, you are 20 weeks!!! You carry it well."
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
On My Own
Through out our entire relationship we have had times of separation. While we were dating, 1 1/2 years was long distance. Also during the summer I would go visit my family for an extended vacation, this was never an issue. Of course I missed him but it can not compare to how I am feeling now. Lonely and Useless.
One of the few things I dislike about being pregnant is not being able to do certain things. This has become very apparent this week now that Doug is out of town. At work, I constantly have people helping me move things. Today was the worst. I had my 4th grade chorus today and there are 65 students in the group. For the past few weeks we have been meeting in my classroom but there were just to many bodies in my tiny music classroom. So my solution was move to the cafeteria and use the risers. Great idea in theory but much hard to arrange in real life. After hunting down people to set up the risers, moving the piano, and setting up name cards I was exhausted. Worked much better though. So while everyone was moving the risers and the piano I was wishing I could help. I don't like to feel useless but I was. At home I have the same issues if I need to move something heavy I need to ask a neighbor. Also we have cats and I have been told by many people "Don't touch the litter."
In those moments that I feel completely useless at home I am missing Doug more. I never realized how much I have come to depend on him during this time. He has been so amazing through this entire pregnancy. It reminds me why I picked him.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
They Know
I was teaching one of my 4th grade classes. Right now we are learning about rhythm and using drums to help with this process. I was in the middle of teaching my students an ostinato (musical pattern) and one of my students speaks out, "Mrs. Q are you pregnant." Deep inside I am laughing but I ignore and keep on teaching. A few minutes later I stop look at the student who shouted out and say, "Johnny the answer to your questions is yes." Then I go back to teaching.
You should have seen the looks on my students faces...priceless. You could see their little brains turning? "What did Johnny ask?" Then it clicked and their eyes got all big and about 20 little hands shot up in the air. I quickly told them I would answer all the questions I had answers to at the end of class.
Most of their questions were normal questions such as: "How far along are you?" "Will we get to see the baby?" "Is baby a boy or girl?" None of these surprised me. Of course one of them tried to push the limits and ask the dreaded questions of where babies come from. I knew he was just trying to see if he could get me to answer it. This is why I waited till the end of class, so I wouldn't have time to answer it.
Since I am a music teacher and have about 19 different classes I knew my job of telling my students wasn't over but I thought the news of me having a baby would spread quickly. I was wrong about that though. After 2 days passed I realized that I would have to tell my students if I wanted them to know. I decided to start with my choruses. When I told my 4th grade chorus they weren't surprised because most of them already knew. All I really had to do was field some questions on how that would change things for them.
My 5th grade chorus was another story. When I told them they screamed with excitement. I had taught most of these kids since they were in 1st grade, so in the last couple years they had asked me several times if I had kids. I love my students and especially my 5th grade chorus. They drive me batty some days but they are just amazing kids.
I am so glad the word is out and I am not waiting for the shoe to drop anymore. Now I can just enjoy my students and my pregnancy at the same time. Also, if baby moves or kicks I can share that moment with them. Already some of my 5th grade girls are feeling my belly. I thought this might bother me but I enjoy it (as long as they ask).
Monday, September 7, 2009
OB Buzz Kill
Friday was my 13 week OB visit and I got myself all excited to go again. Also over the last week I started to worry about the baby because I was finally starting to feel better. Instead of realizing my body was finally adjusting to hormones I freaked out and thought something was wrong with the baby. The days leading up to my appointment I was worried that more parents or my students would start asking me if I was pregnant. I was nervous to answer since I hadn't seen baby since my 8th week u/s.
The day of my appointment finally arrived. I could hardly contain my excitement because I was either going to hear baby's heartbeat for the first time or find out the worst. DH and I got to the appointment and we both waited with nervous anticipation. My OB came in and asked me the normal questions. We discussed a few test results and she asked me again if I was ever tested for fragile X. I never did this test because I firmly believe I don't have it and this is a donor baby so it doesn't matter if I have fragile X. It annoyed me because she asked me at my last appointment and I already told her once that this baby was a donor egg baby.
We finally get to the point where she gets the Doppler out so we can hear baby's heartbeat for the first time. It took a few second but before I knew it I heard the wush wush of baby's heart. It brought tears to my eyes and DH smiled. I could have listened to baby's heartbeat for days but we only got a few seconds before my OB removed the Doppler and that was it. Appointment over!!
I guess the hardest thing for me to understand is my OB's lack of excitement. This baby is a miracle and was 3 years in the making can't you muster up some excitement? Maybe it is the fact that I don't have a relationship with my OB. I haven't been seeing her for years and she never treated any part of my IF. She was just the OB that I had to see. Am I asking to much wanting her to be excited with me? Do other IFers have the same experience with their OB's?
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
He who should not be named
Now let me get to my Harry Potter reference. I have noticed any time I tweet or post on my facebook page about not vomiting, the next thing I know I am puking up my Fruit Loops. Yes, I eat Fruit Loops. They are one of the few breakfast foods that I keep down on a regular basis. I was soo proud because I had made it over a week without vomiting . I had even texted my Mother-in-law to tell her the good news. Not even 12 hours later, I vomited.
So this is my official decree, NO MORE VOMIT TALK.
Friday, August 21, 2009
How are you doing?
For those of you who are wondering how I am doing here I go. For the most part I feel great. Morning sickness is one of my most constant pregnancy symptoms. I get to a point where I think my morning sickness is under control but going back to work threw a wrench into that. Something about waking up at 6:30am makes me nauseous. I think I have finally gotten it undercontrol. Last night I ate some pretzels before I went to bed, when I woke up the first time at 4am and then again when I finally got up. Having some food in my stomach seemed to help.
For all my friends who are wondering when I am going to post belly pictures and ultrasound pictures, I promise to put them up soon.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Pregnancy Symptoms
I originally thought that it was because I ate to early that morning, so on Tuesday I waited till 10 or 11 to finally eat. Well, that didn't change a thing I still ended up running to John and tossing my cookies. Wednesday I tired eating smaller amounts and spread out but to no avail. So I have officially given up trying to avoid morning sickness and I am just embracing it. So today instead of eating a large breakfast I just a had a little. Just as predicted a few minutes later I was saying hi to John again.
I think the most annoying thing about morning sickness on Monday was it was accompanied with red spots all around my eyes and on my neck. I later decided that were broken blood vessels. My face now is almost completely healed and I am hoping that it doesn't happen again.
After 4 days in a row of visiting John I am hoping that just like all my other pregnancy symptoms that it only lasts a week or maybe 2 weeks. I really hope we are done after that because I go back to work the following week and it is going to be hard to set up my classroom if I am running off to visit John all the time. Plus it would be even harder to teach students.
Cross your fingers with me that the morning sickness passes and it is replaced with a new pregnancy symptom or we can just be done with pregnancy symptoms. :)