I think being someone who struggled for years to get pregnant created unreal expectations of OB visits. It was so exciting to finally be pregnant and it is great seeing the smile on your RE's face at the end of each u/s. IFers are spoiled and when I finally got to the OB I was disappointed. First of all I expected a u/s at my first appointment. I though all OB's wanted to see the baby right? NOPE!! We just got bored to death with a list of questions. I felt bad for DH because he hadn't seen baby since my 6 week u/s due to his work schedule.
Friday was my 13 week OB visit and I got myself all excited to go again. Also over the last week I started to worry about the baby because I was finally starting to feel better. Instead of realizing my body was finally adjusting to hormones I freaked out and thought something was wrong with the baby. The days leading up to my appointment I was worried that more parents or my students would start asking me if I was pregnant. I was nervous to answer since I hadn't seen baby since my 8th week u/s.
The day of my appointment finally arrived. I could hardly contain my excitement because I was either going to hear baby's heartbeat for the first time or find out the worst. DH and I got to the appointment and we both waited with nervous anticipation. My OB came in and asked me the normal questions. We discussed a few test results and she asked me again if I was ever tested for fragile X. I never did this test because I firmly believe I don't have it and this is a donor baby so it doesn't matter if I have fragile X. It annoyed me because she asked me at my last appointment and I already told her once that this baby was a donor egg baby.
We finally get to the point where she gets the Doppler out so we can hear baby's heartbeat for the first time. It took a few second but before I knew it I heard the wush wush of baby's heart. It brought tears to my eyes and DH smiled. I could have listened to baby's heartbeat for days but we only got a few seconds before my OB removed the Doppler and that was it. Appointment over!!
I guess the hardest thing for me to understand is my OB's lack of excitement. This baby is a miracle and was 3 years in the making can't you muster up some excitement? Maybe it is the fact that I don't have a relationship with my OB. I haven't been seeing her for years and she never treated any part of my IF. She was just the OB that I had to see. Am I asking to much wanting her to be excited with me? Do other IFers have the same experience with their OB's?
Mother of Ant my donor egg son. Stories about pregnancy, motherhood, my thoughts about infertility, and donor eggs.
I'm sorry you've been disappointed with your OB visits. I think it probably has something to do with the fact that you didn't have a relationship beforehand.
ReplyDeleteI have the opposite experience with my OB. He was so excited that I was pregnant. I'd seen him at least 12 times in the year and a half prior to getting pregnant, partly because of one abnormal pap I had (which made me have to half a pap every 3 months for the next year) and partly because of infertility. We have a really great relationship (he even delivered me when I was born), so when I finally showed up pregnant he was thrilled, and totally acted that way.
I don't think it's too much to ask for your OB to show a little excitement for you after all you've been though! Just know that we are all excited for you and I'm so happy you got to hear BB's heartbeat!
I found that the nurse practitioner at my OB's office was way more excited about babies than the usual OB-GYN that I had seen. She was a lot of fun. And the other OB-GYN, once I met her, was fun and excited, too. If there are multiple doctors in the office, maybe try getting an appt at a different time and getting a different doctor.
ReplyDeleteIt may also be that you don't have an excitable OB. Our OBs were and are excitd every time we hear the HB, esp when DH says "that's the coolest thing!" Even today at my aptmt the OB said that her HB sounds "Great!" So if you're not happy with your OB go find another. :) We did and we're so glad!
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