Monday, June 6, 2011

I Can't Ignore the Signs

I am finding life before my first cycle, so much easier.  After we decided on using donor eggs, I also decided that I never wanted to use birth control ever again.  If on the off chance that I did have a good egg, I didn't want to miss it.  The last 2yrs have been bliss for me, no AF and not worrying about "trying" to get pregnant.

Granted, I am only in cycle #1 post Ant but I was hoping I could avoid worrying about it.  At this point it isn't working.  It is hard to miss egg white cervical mucus, at least for me. It was unlucky lucky for DH because I was ready to do some baby making. Today (for a second) I even considered calling my OB and getting on birth control.  The hormones are making me crazy or just the idea of TTC makes me crazy.

I thought at first I wouldn't think about TTC, since I know a 40 year old has a better chance of getting pregnant then I do.  But all the positive mumbo-jumbo that everyone spouts is getting to my head.

"Pregnancy heals you."
"#2 will be easier."
"You will be more relaxed"
ETC!!!!

I just really need to get out of my head!!! Maybe I should consider birth control? NOT!!!
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2 comments:

  1. RebaJune 6, 2011 at 7:48 PM

    for me it comes and goes in waves. there was that initial "maybe it will just happen for us this time!" thought, but it really hasn't been nearly as frantic. and deep down, beyond the excitement of maybes and what-ifs, i do know that we almost certainly can't conceive on our own. give yourself some time...you're right that the hormones, and the opening up of possibilities, can fill up your head. hugs!

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  2. Donor DivaJune 6, 2011 at 11:39 PM

    Reba your comment gives me hope.

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