"Being Young Means You Don't Have to Worry About Infertility"

Before we even started TTC conceive, I had people telling me no need to rush you are still young.  I was 24 when we first started TTC.  So, you would assume that it would have been easy and by now we would have 2+ kids. 

I think back to my college days when the signs of my possible infertility starting showing up.  I believe I was a Junior in college and I started having irregular cycles.  My mother told me it was stress and my OB's solution was to try progesterone to see if that helped.  The first few cycles after the progesterone were fine but then my cycles got all wonky again.  I opted to go on birth control to normalize my cycle.  My OB never did any test to figure out why my cycle was off.  If I knew then what I know now I would have asked for more test.

Fast forward several years later, I am married and we had been TTC for over a year.  I made an appointment to see my OB to get a referral to see the RE and talk to her about my cycle because I was having the wonky cycles again.  Her solution was to give me a pregnancy test and proceed to tell me how she got a previous couple pregnant in 1 month.  She was NO help and actually destroyed me mentally.  I knew I wasn't pregnant and she didn't listen to my concerns. 

During our whole time of TTC I can't count how many time we were told that "your were still young" and "don't worry."  All of that stopped the day we got my day 3 blood work back.  It went from "you are young" to
"It is to late." 
"Your FSH is high."
"You need "donor egg."

To all the young ladies out there who have off cycles.  Don't let your OB/DR tell you nothing is wrong.  Have them figure out the cause of your wonky cycles.  Don't wait till you are TTC because then it might be to late.  Be your own advocate.

This blog was written for National Infertility Awareness Week.  If you would like more information about infertility just click on the link.

WINNER!!!!

Is.......

gespenst

Please email me @ donordiva@gmail.com to claim your bracelet :)

NIAW Give Away!

I have never done a Give Away on my blog but I figured "Nation Infertiliy Awareness Week" was a great week to have one.  Through all my twitter friends I discovered a great Etsy Shop "That's 2 Darn Cute."  She has lots of beautiful bracelets and several in honor of infertility.  So, I decided to order one for myself and one lucky reader.

"This bracelet features beautiful red beads and flat, rectangle black stone beads, with clear accents. For a special touch a small hope bead is added for a gentle reminder that there is always hope.

The Chance bracelet is special. I have made this bracelet in honor of National Infertility Awareness Week which is April 24-30, 2010."

My moto in life is keep it simple, so if you would like to win this AWESOME bracelet all you have to do is:

•  comment on this blog post or say hi to me on my NEW Facebook page and tell me your favorite blog post. 

Give away closes at 6pm EST on Wednesday, April 27th!

4/9 to 4/20



I missed a few days due to Ant being sick but I made up for it with pics from out trip.  We had a great time visiting my sister.



4/9





4/10



4/11



4/14 A boy and his kitty.



4/15

4/14
I just think this one is cute so I thought I would add it in



4/17
Ant with his Auntie and Auntie's Boyfriend



4/18
Omaha Zoo

4/18
Omaha Zoo



4/19
Durham Train Museum



4/20
Ant is eating his first apple.



4/18



Me and My Sister



My sister is on the Left and I am on the right.



Stupid Genetics

Why does everything come back to genetics?  Why as parents are we so stuck on them?

I know why I am, if you saw my sister and I standing next to each other there would be no doubt in your mind that we were related to each other.  The funnest thing to me is were asked several times if we were TWINS (LOL).  Not so funny to my sister since she if 5 years younger then me.

It is interesting how not a single person commented on how Ant looked.  Not a mention of how he looked like me or my sister.  I know he doesn't but usually people try to find something.  They were just so overwhelmed by my likeness to my sister.

Moments like these with my sister thing about the genetics that Ant and I don't share.  When we are around my family they comment on how much he looks like DH (I LOVE THIS!) but I feel left out of the genetic equation.  The funniest thing to me is that I long for people to find likeness between Ant and I.  As funny as I think it is I want them to tell me Ant looks like me.  It reassures me that we picked the right donor.

Stupid Genetics why do you taunt me!  I want to push you to the back of my mind and never think of you again but you are just to strong.  I see why some people can never move past it.  At times I don't know how I did.  I just wanted out of that deep dark infertile hole that I used to live in.

Ant I am so glad you are in my life.  You make me forget about the part of me that I lost to POF.  You have filled that loss but when I am around my family that loss if thrown in my face again and again.  It isn't their fault we look so much a like, it is all the fault of genetics.  The same genetics that gave me POF. 

Picture Day 3/30 to 4/8

3/30 I love to walk.

3/31 Up I go.

4/1 DOG!

4/2 Sweetest face.

4/3 Hangin with my Auntie

4/4 

4/5 The eyes of the future

4/6 First Love

4/7 Geez Mama why so many pictures (I wanted him to lay down so I could get a pic of how cute he looks when he lays down to go to sleep.  He wasn't happy that I put in his crib before he got his night night nurse)

4/8 Brushing my pearly whites.

"#2 Will Be Easier"

Even though it is a commonly known fact that Ant is a DE child people still tell me "the second will come easier."

I have to say this comment is really starting to annoy me.  We want to have another child more than anything, but it all comes down to money.  It is depressing to me to say this out loud.  If we want to expand our family we have to scrimp and save our money for the next ___ years.  

Over the last month or so this inner dialog of wanting another child has gotten louder.  Maybe it is that my breastfeeding friends ask me if I want another one...then I remind them about the DE and they suddenly don't know what to say.  In July we will have to pay the storage fee on little totsicle again.  How much longer do we want to wait before we transfer?

I'm also thinking about my breastfeeding, since I have to stop to go through a FET.  I know many people turn their noses at people breastfeeding past a year, but I will proudly say I hope to breastfeed Ant for at least 2 years (and we may nurse longer.)  So, at this moment it looks like #2 is still a long way away.

Awhile ago I talked about how I was the infertile in a very fertile world.  This was prompted by the announcement of my younger sister being pregnant with her second and my SIL being pregnant with her 3rd set of NATURAL TWINS (yes, you read that right).  At times it is hard being a member of my immediate family-they just don't seem to understand what DH and I have been going through and are still going through.  Also, hearing all this news of more babies makes my desire for another stronger.  

For now I am content with Ant and our breastfeeding goals.  In time I will know the answers to all these questions.  Till then I will do my best to enjoy life to its fullest and enjoy every moment with Ant.