tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006020072546886501.post407279058910011651..comments2023-09-16T05:39:05.029-04:00Comments on Donor Diva: Mother via Egg Donation, Donor Egg: Love At First Sight?Donor Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00059405685091235701noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006020072546886501.post-79120407447050650572010-04-02T21:11:19.423-04:002010-04-02T21:11:19.423-04:00Stacey,
I am glad you found my blog and thank you...Stacey, <br />I am glad you found my blog and thank you for your comment. As for other DE parents with secondary IF there are many of them. I great place to find them is on the PVED forum www.pved.org. It is a great place to meet other DE parents or people in the process. Good Luck with your cycle in May.<br /><br />SusanDonor Divahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00059405685091235701noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006020072546886501.post-2484909072700268872010-04-02T18:57:09.128-04:002010-04-02T18:57:09.128-04:00HI Susan, I'm new to the blog (great by the wa...HI Susan, I'm new to the blog (great by the way). I have secondary infertility, my son is 9. I remarried at 37 and we soon found out I had ovarian failure (FSH at 48), and DE would be my only chance of conceiving again. We are set to cycle in May. Very exciting and nerve racking at the same time! If there are any moms on the blog who used DE for secondary infertility, I would love to hear how the connection with your DE baby has compared to your first (etc).<br /><br />Back to bonding, I'm a childbirth educator and doula. What you're feeling is totally normal after the birth of your son, for anyone, not to mention adding the c-section, NICU stay and trouble with breastfeeding. I had a similar experience when my son was born. The second they put him on my belly I wondered if it was possible to put him back. I was instantly feeling confused. Then he spent 7 days in the NICU and I pumped for a month because he would not latch after being bottle fed in the NICU (nipple confusion).<br /> <br />Nobody tells you, you will probably GROW to love your baby. Your hormones are raging before and after birth, you're sleep deprived, and you’re on the job training for the hardest position of your life (w/o a manual). I don't think I looked at my son and thought "you are my son and I love you" for at least 3-4 months. I felt like I was going through the motions because I had a responsibility. But it DOES change, soon they are everything to you and you couldn't imagine what your life would be w/o them.<br /><br />Just be sure your feelings are not also accompanied by symptoms of PPD. Keep talking to your DH and people around you. Remember you're not alone :) this is how SO many women feel. <br />Good luck, StaceyBuwbeanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14071860261875094134noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006020072546886501.post-47667942393932126262010-03-28T20:56:09.707-04:002010-03-28T20:56:09.707-04:00It took me about 3 weeks to feel an overwhelming l...It took me about 3 weeks to feel an overwhelming love for my son. I had an uncomfortable pregnancy and a c-section. Then I had a lot of difficulty breastfeeding. I think what you are feeling is normal.bjwolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01414943512827622548noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006020072546886501.post-54770411967343032282010-03-23T14:29:00.601-04:002010-03-23T14:29:00.601-04:00It's totally totally totally normal. Hormones...It's totally totally totally normal. Hormones are a really really strong thing. That coupled with a section -- and sleep deprivation.<br /><br />Trust me 90 days from now you will be totally in the groove:)<br /><br />And let's face it we are meeting a stranger and there are worries about that. I worried if my son would like me:) ha ha.<br /><br />Give me a call or email me if you need support.<br /><br />Hugs, MarnaJust Words On A Pagehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01874228350687436901noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006020072546886501.post-2154370041395598052010-03-12T12:38:53.131-05:002010-03-12T12:38:53.131-05:00I sure hope it's normal, because I STILL have ...I sure hope it's normal, because I STILL have days when I think, "who is this kid and when is his family going to take him home?" <br /><br />I think I can safely say I didn't feel like I was "bonding" with Daniel until he started smiling (around 6 weeks). Until then, I was a sad, tired milk machine who could have just as easily been caring for someone else's baby.<br /><br />I remember talking with my mom about this one day, and she said she felt the same way. She was never much of a "baby person," and she was always looking forward to having kids but not necessarily to having a baby. There was the benefit that, unlike many parents, she was never disappointed when a child grew out of a certain phase of life. She was always glad to see us growing up. What she said to me made me feel far better than anything else: "I love my kids a little more every day." <br /><br />That's what you're doing, Susan. You love Anthony a little bit more every day. And that's a very, very good thing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006020072546886501.post-77699534597204238202010-03-12T10:40:49.005-05:002010-03-12T10:40:49.005-05:00Susan, I am sorry for the myriad of thoughts and f...Susan, I am sorry for the myriad of thoughts and feelings you are having. Take a deep breath, slowly let it out and then go gaze at the baby that you moved heaven and earth to bring into this world. I am guessing the unexpected whirlwind that happened at his birth is contributing to this all. <br /><br />I recall feeling strange when I brought my son home. He was sleeping in his cradle and i looked around and was like, now what? I felt like me, not like a mommy. Then when my husband went back to work, it was just me and him and I still wasn't sure what to do with him. I nursed on demand, snuggled and all that other stuff, but it felt weird. I don't recall the specific turning point. I think it was about 4 weeks into my maternity leave and I realized I had to go back in 2 more and he needed me. He needed my nursing him, he was happier in my arms than my husbands. How could I leave him at a sitters? Total breakdown and turning point.<br /><br />Your friend is right, monitor yourself and if it continues just call your OBGYN. Take care of you, take care of Ant. Sending thoughts your way.Motleymommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04266059947209318779noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006020072546886501.post-58106964312667550942010-03-12T09:47:16.082-05:002010-03-12T09:47:16.082-05:00susan, i am so sorry you are dealing with these fe...susan, i am so sorry you are dealing with these feelings and that you've had to deal with them on your own. they talked about this in our birth class and said it was very normal.<br /><br />i remember i did not truly feel like a "mother" until 3 or 4 days after naomi was born. the first few days especially in the hospital were a blur of exhaustion, physical discomfort, and failing attempts to nurse. i remember the moment when i finally felt like a mother. i had driven to cvs in the middle of the night to buy a bottle and formula--naomi was so hungry and the nursing was not going well. i flew home, we prepared the bottle, and as i fed her the bottle in our rocking chair, i will never forget her eyes looking up at me with such love, almost saying "thank you mama!" THEN i felt like a mother...finally nourishing my baby.<br /><br />i know as you continue to make new memories with ant that you will feel closer and closer to your son. you are doing a great job with everything you have gone through. hugs!Rebahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16739267142330427759noreply@blogger.com